moving on

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. As I get this house ready to be sold and try to get the new one suitable to live in, I wonder just how overwhelmed you must have felt at the thought of moving all of your things somewhere else. I know that you decided against moving in with either one of your kids because you were worried about becoming a burden but I know nothing could be further from the truth. I wonder if you would have been happy moving up to NC and to be around your family, if that would have made you stronger. I know that you being there would just be one more reason for us to move up that way. I guess I'm just wondering if there was more I could have done to support your efforts for getting up there. I know I had a lot going on already with the boys, but if I knew there was anything I could have done to help you, I would have found a way. I think it finally hit me yesterday just how little family we have here anymore, that we talk to regularly anyways. It makes me sad to think how close we all were before Grandma and Papa passed away. There was so much fighting and finger pointing that happened that should have been hugs and shared tears. I hate that we all lost so many years that we could have spent together building memories, having our kids grow up together, just having a support system. I'm just missing you guys is all.